Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
