Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
my shit smells like andre
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
