dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
