So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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