Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
no, he came in my armpit
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
