if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
