When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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