What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
