I just cut my nipple shaving
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
