i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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