I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
