she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
