Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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