No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Randomize