white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize