i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
third nipple confirmed
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
