Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I lost the right to judge tonight
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
