She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
