My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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