so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize