I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
