its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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