Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
North Korea, Best Korea!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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