You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize