if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I wish you could order shots online.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
