Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
