i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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