How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She even gives head with a lisp.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
