DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
