Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
where are my eyebrows?
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
