I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
