Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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