he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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