i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize