Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
