You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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