i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
