Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
