Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
