I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
