Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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