Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
