I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
