I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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