I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
