absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
My vagina is officially offended.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
