Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
