She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
There's always time for handjobs
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
