Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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