I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
