I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
