She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
