haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize