woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
