We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
