And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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