shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
