remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize