I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
