But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
We named our party play list daddy issues
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
