Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize