I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize