its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Randomize
