I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize